Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Babies, babies, babies

I love babies, I really do. Except for when they scream and shit, and I hand them back to their mothers, very glad that I will not be having babies for a looooooooooooong time. But sometimes I wonder if I should have kids at all.
It was this article on Jezebel that made me think about people who shouldn't have kids, that they're just not the right type of people.

I wonder if too much emphasis is put on feeling this rush of love at first sight, like instantly loving your child. This woman only knew her adopted son for two weeks, before returning him. At first, I thought she must be incredibly cold, and how could she return this little boy, like a handbag or a pair of shoes? Treating a human being like they're replaceable and dispensable. But surely it must be better for her to admit she wasn't the right mother for him, then to bring him up in an unhappy and resentful home.

When you meet someone, you don't love them the second you see them, so is that true for children? Do you have to learn to love them, as they develop their own personalities?

Babies make me anxious, I feel like I'm going to screw up immensely when they're about. When I hold them, I imagine elaborate situations where I drop them, or hurt their fragile necks and heads.

When I think about it, a lot of things make me anxious, like the ocean. What about sharks, jelly fish and Steve Irwin's ghost?

The more I think about all that, the more I get scared. I guess you just have to take things as they come. But the dream of a house in the suburbs with the white picket fence, marriage and children, just isn't right for some people, it's best to figure that out before children are involved.

No comments: