Am I a bad person?

Because I would totally wear these pyjamas...





Except probably not with my arse hanging out, although I guess that would come in handy if you had a bad case of diarrhoea and can't be bothered taking off your pants. Or, if you're a prostitute, and you're tired, or cold, you can do a bit of anal while staying warm. If my mum ever saw this, she would roll her eyes and tisk, but I don't think she'd be too surprised about me talking about anal sex.


Footsie PJs are H-O-T!

This is why people hate me

I can't remember people's names or phone numbers, but I know way too much about Brad and Angelina, and other useless information.

Babies, babies, babies

I love babies, I really do. Except for when they scream and shit, and I hand them back to their mothers, very glad that I will not be having babies for a looooooooooooong time. But sometimes I wonder if I should have kids at all.
It was this article on Jezebel that made me think about people who shouldn't have kids, that they're just not the right type of people.

I wonder if too much emphasis is put on feeling this rush of love at first sight, like instantly loving your child. This woman only knew her adopted son for two weeks, before returning him. At first, I thought she must be incredibly cold, and how could she return this little boy, like a handbag or a pair of shoes? Treating a human being like they're replaceable and dispensable. But surely it must be better for her to admit she wasn't the right mother for him, then to bring him up in an unhappy and resentful home.

When you meet someone, you don't love them the second you see them, so is that true for children? Do you have to learn to love them, as they develop their own personalities?

Babies make me anxious, I feel like I'm going to screw up immensely when they're about. When I hold them, I imagine elaborate situations where I drop them, or hurt their fragile necks and heads.

When I think about it, a lot of things make me anxious, like the ocean. What about sharks, jelly fish and Steve Irwin's ghost?

The more I think about all that, the more I get scared. I guess you just have to take things as they come. But the dream of a house in the suburbs with the white picket fence, marriage and children, just isn't right for some people, it's best to figure that out before children are involved.

Denis Leary is an ass hole...but not that big of an ass hole

I think his book was meant to be taken as offensive, but it was his remarks about autism that really offended groups. And obviously people are going to be offended when he calls their kids- "... just stupid. Or lazy. Or both.”
I just watched him on The Daily Show, where he defended what he said, and he came off less douche baggey than I thought he would (yes, douche baggey is a word, as of just now).

And I can understand where he's coming from, when it comes to autism. My two younger brothers are autistic, and while I get riled up when people say there is no such thing as autism, I get even more pissed off when people self-diagnose themselves as having autism, or a form of autism such as Asperger's. Also, Asperger's always sounds like Ass Burgers, like the people who diagnose themselves after reading about Asperger's on an internet forum.

He probably just said this to get publicity for his book, but I have met many people, one case in particular that made my blood boil. A woman who used to work at my brother's primary school, the primary school that I attended as well, which was very small, and hired this woman to work as my brother's aide instead of someone who is actually trained. After she met my brother, and worked with him, she began to say her 12 year old daughter, who was at a nice, private school, was autistic, despite her never showing a sign before her mum met my brother. This woman took her daughter to many, many doctors and psychologists, before finally meeting a medical professional who diagnosed her with autism.

Then, this woman began to collect payments for her daughter, such as disability pensions, which my own mother wasn't eligible for, despite having two disabled children. She also collected single parent payments, although she wasn't seperated from her husband yet, and didn't seem to be short of money, as she had 4 kids in private school, and an enormous house and 3 cars. Somehow, she was able to manipulate the government into paying for her tummy tuck, and 2 boobs jobs (she had them reduced, and then made bigger again).

I have to keep away from her, because she disgusts me. No matter what is said to the government, she continues to get away with exploiting the system.
She was almost found out, a few years ago, when two psychologists who had used to work with my brothers, tried to re-evaluate her daughter, and she tried to get them fired.

Autism can be heart breaking for many families, but those who claim to "cure" it (cough cough, Jenny McCarthy), and those who diagnose themselves, can eat my poo. You are stupid or lazy, but you're probably a combination of both.


I do agree with Denis Leary, but fuck him. I'm sick of actors like Tom Cruise who pretend to know shit about medicine, or psychology. Some morons will actually believe you, so shut up.

This is why people hate me

When I ask how people are doing, or if they would like a drink, I'm secretly wishing they will say fine, and leave it at that.

I don't really care all that much, I'm just trying to be polite.

Family conversations

Ma Baker: Hey, what does this say?
(She refuses to get glasses, even though she clearly needs them.)
Me: What does what say?
(I was drying my hair after getting out of the shower as I walked over to her.)
Ma Baker: Why were you walking like that?
Me: What do you mean?
Ma Baker: You were waddling.
Me: No, I was just scratching my arse as I walked.

An alternative form of transport

Too bad I didn't get a photo of this, if I try it again I'll have to video tape it, and screw up while I do it so I can send it off to Australia's Funniest Home Videos. If I put my own stupid sound effects in, will they play it and give me money?


Okay, I'll save that for another day, as today I was environmentally friendly. Instead of travelling around in a car, I sat on my skateboard, and held my dog's tug of war toy. My puppy, Lucy grabbed onto the toy, and walked backwards, pulling me along.


I think I'll suggest it to the government, so everyone can get in on the act.